I WOKE UP IN BETWEEN A MEMORY AND A DREAM.

tom petty 

black&white

black & white

feels like they should be

black & white. 

all those things i think 

and cry over.  

things should be simpler. 

why don't the colors pop? 

i so badly want just the black & white.  

rubbing my eyes wildly, 

i remember how pretty 

grey can be..

God

sometimes the only thing we need to do is take one more breath.
i'm reminded of that every time i see families broken down with
grief, fear, exhaustion and wonder.
they don't know what to do.
how they'll care for their child,
if their child will live,
what life will be like…
even in one hour.
breathing, walking, looking around the room…
it's all heavier, it's all harder.

that's what life can be like.
when we become dependent on ourselves.
it's easy to grieve, fear, become exhausted and wonder..
when we are leaning on our own feeble, frantic frames.
we think we can stand and withold the weight of it all.
we think we have to,
but that life gets tiresome.  

i want to lean on the one who built me.
the one who built everything.
our characters, our beloved lives, the world
…it all may shake & start crumbling.
but we know the one who can catch the last speck of dust
before everything goes to shit.

as we are about to completely fall apart,

He can make everything new.
so...
until my life is only one dust speck shy of destruction,
i'm going to lean on Him.

that's where i'll find my strength.

and there I find you in the mystery. 

"oceans" - Hillsong United

be you because you're the only one

WASH YOUR SPIRIT CLEAN

-john muir 

undisturbed calmness of mind is attained by cultivating friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked. 

- patanjali

today.
just breathe.
feel that miracle.
can you comprehend how it's even possible?
to breathe?
try not to.
just feel it.
let your mind rest from everything.
just be.

Marah and Elim Today 'tis Elim with its palms and wells,
And happy shade for desert weariness;
'Twas Marah yesterday, all rock and sand,
Unshaded solitude and dreariness.
Yet the same desert holds them both, the same
Hot breezes wander o'er the lonely ground;
The same low stretch of valley shelters both,
And the same mountains compass them around.

So it is here with us on earth, and so
I do remember it has ever been;
The bitter and the sweet, the grief and joy,
Lie near together, but a day between.

Sometimes God turns our bitter into sweet,
Sometimes He gives us pleasant watersprings;
Sometimes He shades us with His pillar cloud,
And sometimes to a blessed palm shade brings.

What matters it? The time will not be long;
Marah and Elim will alike be passed;
Our desert wells and palms will soon be done,
We reach the "City of our God" at last.
O happy land! beyond these lonely hills,
Where gush in joy the everlasting springs;
O holy Paradise! above these heavens,
Where we shall end our desert wanderings.
-Horatius Bonar