happi

it's so interesting to me that there is music and food and different paths that make me feel so comforted. walking around my neighborhood, listening to the weepies, eating toast with raspberry jam and butter...i love those things. finding a hill to sit on top of and just look out, it feels good. that subtle breeze that cools you and warms you at the same time while you just sit. you feel small and yet you feel like each breathe of fresh air is making you a bigger better person, and letting you in on the secret of life.

i forgot to say that james taylor's music makes me feel like i'm melting in to myself. i love his music.
i've been running a lot lately and my body is getting stronger and more "runner-like". spending that time to myself or with my boyfriend just jogging and strengthening my heart does me good. i need that rhythm and physical exertion in my life.
so back to things that make me feel comforted. thinking back to my times at wwu, i had a lot of friends and acquaintances and so many of them are memorable. but, i remember feeling excited and interested and lit-up when (my now boyfriend) Jacob would be around. we didn't know each other well, but we were acquaintances. i remember him being in choir practices or seeing him walk through a certain building on campus and i would just be happy to see him, he meant something to me! i don't mean "ooh there's that sexy jacob hunk i just feel all queasy inside 'cause he's so cute"....it wasn't like that. it wasn't a crush where i thought of him all the time or wanted to pursue him. he just MEANT SOMETHING bIG in my heart, it's like I knew already.

i guess i'm just amazed that someone who is big in my life now, who makes me me and who has added measureless meaning to my life would spark my interest from the beginning. it's interesting. it's like reverse deja vu or something...being drawn to what will mean the most in your life.  perhaps, even, comforted by their presence before you've ever hugged them or touched them. it's like the chemicals in their body, or their aura or their mind is good for you. it affects you.

there are so many types of happiness. so many recipes for happiness, so many opportunities. i might be happy on a hill breathing in the air, when someone else's idea of pure joy is sleeping in, cuddled under a giant down comforter. okay i'd like that too...hehe. i think of the people i've seen and talked to in Kenya. small interactions, acquaintances...they're happy in their life. they find joy looking at their views, eating their delicacies, listening to their own "music". so far far removed from me, but happiness just as real.

i think the purpose of life is to experience all types of happiness, find ways to fit and mold and use experiences to find happiness in everything. even if the happiness comes from a journey...it'll come. it's not all happy, but happy can always come out of life. i want to continue discovering new music, people, smells, sights...and let my happiness palate be transformed. tannins of happiness are everywhere to be tasted and sensed! hehe :)