Lord, comfort me & mine.

I'm a very nonchalant, sarcastic, carefree person. I go slow through life and keeping in close touch with people is hard for me. Maybe it's because I'm scared of rejection or I know I'm okay to just depend on me for most things. One "thing" (or group or wonderful creation, whatever you want to call it) that I depend on, and cherish, is my family. Weeks or months may go by without seeing them, I may get busy with work and sleeping and not call them for a while. But, when I finally do, it's always so touching to feel their warmth from afar, I love my parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and distant relatives. They make me feel important and like I matter. 

 In my future family, I want there to be that care and love emanating through the relationships. That security in depending on your "people" because they're there for that. And that's why you are told as a kid that you can do anything you set your mind to - You have the support and love to try things and explore. Life's not meant to be done alone. Loving and finding lasting love in life is a journey and I struggle with feeling insecure about it sometimes. Fearing rejection and wondering about the future puts my now in a standstill. I fail my loved ones because I'm worrying (inside my carefree, nonchalant little head). I guess my prayer tonight is for wisdom to sit in the present and love those around me. Not to forget to try to make them smile and show them how deeply they matter to me: how much I want them around. Remind them how much I need them in my life for learning and growth and partnership. Because, the further I journey through life/work/adulthood, the more I see how it's not meant to be done alone. Experiences and stress but also joy are all meant to be shared. Having a partner in life lets you walk the walk of life with support. Partnership is not something to be scared of or ashamed to want very badly, I actually believe is something we need as fragile and broken human beings. I need to remember to share my love with and support those I love most.